


The Disappearing Cane Trick

by cjmarlowe



Category: Fresh Meat (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Sex Toys, Yuletide 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-24
Updated: 2011-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-28 00:50:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/301929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmarlowe/pseuds/cjmarlowe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Vod goes, Oregon is never far behind, but this time Oregon might've been the one to get there first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Disappearing Cane Trick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [morphosyntactic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/morphosyntactic/gifts).



"I'm through with men," said Vod, wiping the corner of her mouth with her thumb and collapsing into her chair, sprawling over the table as she reached for Oregon's drink.

"Did you just...?" said Oregon, looking towards the toilets and then back at Vod again.

"Yeah, so?" said Vod. "And you know what the wanker did? He said 'thank you' afterwards. _Thank you_. What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"I know, right?" said Oregon. "Man troubles. I know all about that."

"You know about _old_ man troubles," said Vod, grimacing and then knocking back the rest of the drink, swishing it around like she was getting rid of the taste in her mouth.

"It's almost enough to make a person look for some Sapphic companionship."

"What, you mean like lesbos?"

"Just for laughs, I mean," said Oregon quickly. "On account of the no men." Perhaps it was best if she just sipped her drink. Even though, thanks to Vod, the glass was now empty.

"Yeah," said Vod after a moment. "Yeah, I could get into that."

"What?"

"At least they're not going to leave spunk on your collar," said Vod. Oregon squinted, but it was dark in the pub and she wasn't sure if Vod was just being theoretical or not.

"No, there'd be lipstick instead, wouldn't there?" said Oregon. "Which is actually harder to wash out, when you think about it."

"Yeah, but it's _not spunk_ , is it?" said Vod. "It doesn't come shooting out of you without any warning. If you've got lipstick on your collar, it got there on purpose."

"So you'd want to...give that a try, then?" said Oregon, as casually as she could manage, under the circumstances. "Yeah, me too."

"Course, I'd miss cock if I did it full-time," said Vod. "I'd need a good strap-on. It'd be nice to be the one to give it hard for a change, really get it in there." She grunted and jerked her hips and Oregon sipped her empty glass again, getting a trickle from the remaining ice that barely wet her lips. It did nothing to help her suddenly dry mouth.

"Would it really be the same, though?"

"No, it'd be better," said Vod. "No spunk gumming up the works, and you can always go long enough to get off. Unlike _that wanker_ who thanked me like I was his birthday present. _Reciprocation, mate!_."

Oregon hid her face a little when Vod raised her voice, so she didn't know whether or not Vod had the attention of the bloke she'd just got off in the toilets, or just everyone else within a three-table radius.

"Girls are just much better at sex," she said. "When Tony—"

"Hold up," said Vod. "We're not talking about your flabby professor. He's old news. He's history."

"Well, it was certainly enough to turn _me_ off men for a while."

Vod raised an imaginary glass to her, which Oregon met with an imaginary glass of her own even though she still had possession of the empty. "Let's get out of this shithole," said Vod. "I've had enough of this place."

"Right," said Oregon, and did a token look-around for Josie and Kingsley, but they could find their own way home. Maybe they even already had. "It's a real shithole tonight, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I just said," said Vod, and pushed herself up from the table again, flipping the collar on her coat and kicking her chair back, practically into the next table. "Are you coming?"

"Right," said Oregon, and grabbed her coat and her purse before Vod spotted something that made her change her mind about bailing on the pub early and heading back to the house. Assuming they were heading back to the house and not on a pub crawl.

The walk seemed uncomfortably long, even with Vod leaning against her nearly the whole way. Maybe because about halfway there Vod started looking back over her shoulder at the emptier and emptier streets. Maybe because Oregon couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't completely lame and needy.

There was no one at the house when they got there, with the possible exception of Paul which she had no proof of either way. The lights were out, and Vod sighed as she left her shoes in a pile by the door and threw her coat on the back of the sofa.

"I'm bored already," she said. "The pub was better than this."

"No, it was shit," said Oregon, flipping on some lights and looking for something to drink. There had to be beer, vodka, _something_. They couldn't have drank everything.

"Maybe we should have stopped for that strap-on," said Vod, kicking her feet up and sniffing at the remains of something in glass left on the table. "Then we'd have something to do."

"I've actually got one," admitted Oregon.

" _You_ have got one?" said Vod. "Are you shitting me?"

"It was just one of those schoolgirl things," she said, brushing it off. "You know how it is."

"Your posh schools are filthier than they let on."

"No, not like that," said Oregon quickly. "It was a prank. Just a bit of laugh. One of the girls dared me."

It was a ballsy lie, on top of a few too many already, but it was for a good cause. Well, it was potentially for sex, with _Vod_ , and that qualified as a good cause under the circumstances. Not that Oregon had spent that much time wondering what that would be like or anything.

"One of the girls _dared_ you to buy a strap-on. Seriously."

"Well, it's sort of a strap on. It's not got any straps, just...two heads?"

"Oh right, I've seen those in the shops," said Vod. "They've got this great knobby bulb on them, right? Those are wicked."

"Right," said Oregon. "I've got one of those upstairs in my room." When Vod just nodded and didn't say anything else, Oregon resumed her search for beverages of any sort that weren't orange juice or vaguely milky in an alarming way.

By the time she looked up again, on the verge of asking whether Vod had something stashed in her room (which surely she must), Vod was already waiting for her by the staircase.

"Come on, are we doing this or not?"

"Right," said Oregon, shutting the fridge door hard enough that something rattled inside and following Vod up the stairs. "So you want to see it, then?"

"God you're thick," said Vod, and shoved her up against the wall and kissed her like she was starving. Oregon didn't even care right now if it was just boredom or curiosity or convenience, because she didn't remember ever being kissed quite like that before.

"Well, I didn't want to move too fast for you," she said when they came up for air.

Vod was already stripping her top off and dropping it on the floor.

By the time they finished their next kiss, Vod's hands on either side of her head and pinning her to the wall, Oregon was dizzy with it. Imagination never measured up to the real thing.

"Come on, you can show it to me now," said Vod, pushing back from the wall and opening the door to Oregon's room with her shoulder.

Oregon picked up Vod's shirt where she left it in the hallway and brought it in, hanging it over a chair as she closed the door. At Vod's 'what the shit are you doing?' look she said, "They'll know what we're doing if they see it out there."

"It doesn't matter," said Vod. "Who cares? Fuck it."

"Yeah, all right," said Oregon, but when she stripped her own shirt off she didn't fling it into the hallway, she tossed it over the chair as well.

"JP can jerk off to it if he likes."

"Yeah, I'm not going to think about that, actually," said Oregon.

"Yeah," said Vod. "This is just about you and me and fuck everyone else."

That was the moment when Oregon was sure, as much as she was sure about anything in this arena where, actually, she was a little bit shit, that Vod wasn't doing this just out of curiosity or convenience. She made two false starts, and finally just unhooked her bra and let it slip off.

"Nice," said Vod, giving her an approving nod. Oregon just pushed her hair back behind her ear and tried to think of something to say that would make her look less like a blushing virgin while she rummaged around in her drawer for the prize.

It was ridiculously large and purple and honestly she'd never used it, even though there had been no dare involved in the purchase.

"That is _spectacular_ ," said Vod, trousers off and already sprawling on Oregon's bed. "Give it here."

Oregon was happy to make the handoff, and just looked at her for a moment as Vod caressed it and sniffed it and ran a tongue along one side. She felt flushed and wet and ridiculous as she stood there half-dressed without knowing quite what to do with herself.

"Well, I'm not going to get it in if you don't take those off," said Vod, nodding at her remaining clothing. "Do you not want to do this?"

"No, of course I do," said Oregon. "I was just...trying to make a game of it. A little striptease."

"Well don't," said Vod. "I want to try this beauty out." To be honest, Oregon was glad of an excuse to look down as she stripped, and she didn't worry about where everything was going as she kicked them off blindly, until her pants landing right next to the bed, on display. "Lookit how wet you are," said Vod. "This is just going to slip right in."

Oregon hesitated, then turned out the light before getting onto the bed with Vod. It only got dimmer, not completely dark, but it felt more appropriate when Vod grabbed her by the waist and kissed her again. Right away, once that naked touching barrier was breached, Oregon grabbed for her, hands everywhere and knees knocking and finding all of Vod's curves and angles.

"Wait, give me a second to get this sorted," said Vod, propping herself up on one arm and looking up at the ceiling and feeling around between her legs to get it put in properly.

"I can help," said Oregon, though she fluttered her hands uselessly and wasn't sure where to start.

"Oh, yeah, there it is," said Vod, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she got it in place. It was less strange than Oregon thought it would be to see Vod with a fairly substantial purple cock between her legs. "You ready for it?"

It was on the tip of Oregon's tongue to say, "Yeah, of course," but then she stopped trying so hard and just spread her legs and looked Vod in the eye and touched herself.

"Oh yeah, that's it," said Vod, and found her way by touch, slipping her fingers in first and then, in a steady push, guiding her cock into Oregon's body. It was so odd, her hands ghosting over Vod's breasts as she got used to the feel of them at the same time she felt something so thick pushing into her, familiar and unfamiliar at once. "Let me get the hang of this."

It was slow at first, tentative movements, Vod figuring out how it worked and how to use her hips and how to grasp and thrust and hold, then it was faster, harder, and Vod cried out as it ground against her clit. Oregon thought, because she couldn't help thinking, she just couldn't, that it might be nice to try this from the other side.

"That's good," said Oregon, and tried to shift her body so that it ground a little more against her.

"Oh yeah, it's great," said Vod, hand braced on the bed and finally paying some more attention to the rest of Oregon again. She didn't seem at all lost when it came to the body beneath her, Oregon's body, licking at her throat and pinching her nipples and stroking up the inside of her thigh in ways that Oregon knew she'd never talked about. They didn't really do details.

"A little more...." said Oregon, shifting her hips again, pushing up with her heels then arching her back and pushing back down again, trying to find the sweet spot.

"Right, yeah," said Vod, slowing down and shifting and then speeding up again. It wasn't quite there yet, but it was still...well, it was still pretty amazing, even with the stutters and stops and angles that weren't a hundred percent right. Oregon tried it from the bottom at first, then from on top, then let Vod roll her over again, legs spread and arms draped above her head.

"All right, that was fun but I'm done with this," said Vod abruptly, pulling out and then working the fake cock out of herself as well, tossing it on the floor. Oregon was _really_ going to have to sterilise that later. "I've got a better idea."

Oregon had a better idea too, and before Vod could do much but reposition herself, she had a hand between Vod's legs, feeling around for just a moment before getting used to the territory and rubbing her clit.

"Yeah, that was my idea," said Vod around a choked breath, hands gliding swiftly all the way down until she was dipping two fingers in and pressing a thumb against Oregon's clit, doing more for her than any cock or cock-shaped thing could. Her own fingers felt sticky and hot and she let them slide through the folds, learning the shape of her, learning those other spots that made her gasp and hitch, a finger pressed inside at just the right angle, a hard kiss to her nipple.

She hardly had to move her hips as Vod ground against her but she did, pressing back and wrapping a leg around her and trying to catch her breath as she got closer and closer to the edge. Vod made little noises as she fucked, half words that Oregon stopped trying to figure out, using tone and volume as her signs instead.

"Fuck, _yeah_ ," Vod burst out finally, and in the moments when her hand stopped moving and she just pressed hard against Oregon as she came, Oregon dug her fingers into Vod's hip to hold her still and ground hard against her hand until she followed.

She felt high, floating on the waves of orgasm for what felt like a long time before the room came into focus again, before she released her grip and rolled back against the bed. A few moments later, Vod slumped at her side, breathless and sweaty and still running fingers up and down the inside of Oregon's thigh.

They didn't say anything, which was good because Oregon couldn't even think what to say. Certainly not thank you. Maybe something more like 'what the fuck just happened?' which had the alarming potential to be taken the entirely wrong way. So she lay silent and let her hand trace the contours of Vod's not-yet-familiar body and let her thoughts drift, more relaxed than she'd felt in ages.

Eventually Oregon heard Josie and Kingsley come in, stumbling against the walls, off for a shag if they were on again or a row if they weren't. She nudged Vod to tell her she might want to go back to her own room while she could, but Vod sort of kicked out and grunted and snored in her ear and she clearly wasn't going anywhere. Not that Oregon actually wanted her to go, just meant to avoid the awkward questions in the morning. But then she nestled in and thought, you know what, it doesn't matter. Who cares.

Fuck it.


End file.
